Leeper Adichie
In Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, readers gain fifteen pieces of advice on raising a true feminist daughter, as Adichie advises her friend through the process. While all of the suggestions were valuable, the fifteenth stood out the most to me, it being: “teach her about difference. Make difference ordinary. Make difference normal. Teach her not to attach value to difference” (Adichie, 61). I feel that this suggestion encapsulates the others because it sums up the manifesto by saying that we, as humans, must accept and love one another, despite their differences.
One of my personal guidelines is “so long they aren’t hurting themselves, others, or me, I don’t care.” While it seems a bit pessimistic and nihilistic, it has helped rescue me from excessive overthinking and anxiety about other peoples’ beliefs, actions, and behaviors. Adichie says something very similar to this: “She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world, and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect” (Adichie, 61). I think that this perspective, while easier said than done, is a great way to teach children about their relationships with others. It’s part of the human experience to care deeply about what others are doing, especially during childhood, but to recognize that there isn’t always an explanation for difference, aside from it just being the case, is a step in the right direction.
I always try to keep this perspective in mind with my work as a sailing coach for 7-9 year olds and my work as a personal caregiver for people with disabilities. In my job as a sailing coach in one summer I teach over 140 kids (plus lots of interactions with kids in other groups), I encounter and care for 140+ different personalities, lifestyles, upbringings, and futures. While I don’t always love the freedoms their parents allow them, or the way they have been raised to behave, I have to remember that as long as everyone is safe – physically and emotionally – it doesn’t matter, and really, difference is what makes life so enjoyable.
One of my personal guidelines is “so long they aren’t hurting themselves, others, or me, I don’t care.” While it seems a bit pessimistic and nihilistic, it has helped rescue me from excessive overthinking and anxiety about other peoples’ beliefs, actions, and behaviors. Adichie says something very similar to this: “She must know and understand that people walk different paths in the world, and that as long as those paths do no harm to others, they are valid paths that she must respect” (Adichie, 61). I think that this perspective, while easier said than done, is a great way to teach children about their relationships with others. It’s part of the human experience to care deeply about what others are doing, especially during childhood, but to recognize that there isn’t always an explanation for difference, aside from it just being the case, is a step in the right direction.
I always try to keep this perspective in mind with my work as a sailing coach for 7-9 year olds and my work as a personal caregiver for people with disabilities. In my job as a sailing coach in one summer I teach over 140 kids (plus lots of interactions with kids in other groups), I encounter and care for 140+ different personalities, lifestyles, upbringings, and futures. While I don’t always love the freedoms their parents allow them, or the way they have been raised to behave, I have to remember that as long as everyone is safe – physically and emotionally – it doesn’t matter, and really, difference is what makes life so enjoyable.
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